“Welche härte
des schicksals! wenn ihr zu eurer seele tretet, werdet ihr als erstes
den sinn mißen. ihr
glaubt, daß ihr in das
sinnlose versinket, in das ewig ungeordnete. ihr habt recht! nichts
errettet euch vor dem ungeordneten und sinnlosen denn dieses ist die
andere hälfte der welt.
euer gott ist ein kind, sofern ihr nicht kindisch seid. Ist kind
ordnung sinn? oder unordnung laune? unordnung und sinnlosigkeit sind
die mütter von ordnung
und sinn—ordnung und sinn sind gewordenes und nicht werdendes. ihr
öffnet die pforte der
seele, um in euere ordnung und euern sinn die dunklen ströme
des chaos hereinfließen
zu laßen. vermählt
dem geordneten das chaos und ihr erzeugt das göttliche
kind, den übersinn,
jenseits von sinn und widersinn—ihr fürchtet
euch das thor zu öffnen?
auch ich fürchtete mich,
denn wir hatten vergeßen,
daß der gott furchtbar
ist. der christus lehrte: gott ist die liebe. ihr sollt aber wißen,
daß die liebe auch
furchtbar ist. ich sprach zu einer liebenden seele und als ich näher
zu ihr trat, befiehl mich das grauen und ich thürmte
einen wall von zweifeln auf und ahnte nicht, daß
ich micht damit vor meiner furchtbaren seele schützen
wollte—es graut euch vor der tiefe, es soll euch grauen, denn
darüber führt
der weg des kommenden. du mußt
die versuchung der angst und deß
zweifels bestehen, und dabei bis ans blut einsehen, daß
deine angst berechtigt und dein zweifel vernuenftig ist. wie wäre
es sonst eine wahrhafte versuchung und eine wahrhafte überwindung?
der christ ueberwindet wohl die versuchung des teufels, nicht aber
die versuchung gottes zum guten und vernünftigen.
der christ unterliegt also der versuchung. das habt ihr noch zu
lernen, keiner versuchung zu unterliegen, sondern alles freiwillig zu
thun, dann seid ihr frei und jenseits des christenthums. ich mußte
erkennen, daß ich ich
mich dem, das ich fürchtete,
zu unterwerfen habe, ja noch mehr, daß
ich das, wovor mir graute, sogar lieben muß. solches müßen wir von
jener heiligen lernen, die, als es ihr vor den prestkranken ekelte,
den eiter der pestbeulen trank und gewahr wurde, daß er wie rosen
duftete. die taten der heiligen waren nicht umsonst. du bist in
jeglichem dinge, das deine erlösung und die erlangung der gnade
betrifft, von deiner seele abhängig. es kann dir daher kein opfer zu
schwer sein. hindern dich deine tugenden an der erlösung, lege sie
ab, denn sie sind dir zum übel geworden. der tugendsklave findet den
weg ebensowenig wie der lastersklave. glaubst du dich herr deiner
seele, dann werde zu ihrem diener, warest du ihr diener,, so ergreife
die herrschaft über sie, denn dann bedarf sie der beherrschung.
dieses seien deine ersten schritte.” (fol ii(v) – iii(r)
Translation by SS (Sonu Shamdasani etal):
“How
hard is fate! If you take a step toward your soul, you will at first
miss the meaning. You will believe that you have sunk into
meaninglessness, into eternal disorder. You will be right! Nothing
will deliver you from disorder and meaninglessness, since this is the
other half of the world. Your God is a child, so long as you are not
childlike. Is the child order, meaning? Or disorder, caprice?
Disorder and meaninglessness are the mother
of
order and meaning. Order and meaning are things that have become and
are no longer becoming.
You
open the gates of the soul to let the dark flood of chaos flow into
your order and meaning. If you marry the ordered to the chaos you
produce the divine child, the supreme meaning beyond meaning and
meaninglessness. You
are afraid to open the door? I too was afraid, since we had forgotten
that God is terrible. Christ taught: God is love. But you should know
that love is also terrible. I spoke to a loving soul and as I drew
nearer to her, I was overcome by horror, and I heaped up a wall of
doubt, and did not anticipate that I thus wanted to protect myself
from my fearful soul. You dread the depths; it should horrify you,
since the way of what is to come leads through it. You must endure
the temptation of fear and doubt, and at the same time acknowledge to
the bone that your fear is justified and your doubt is reasonable.
How otherwise could it be a true temptation and a true
overcoming? Christ totally overcomes the temptation of the devil, but
not the temptation of
God to good and reason. Christ thus succumbs to cursing.
You still have to learn this, to succumb to no
temptation, but to do everything of your own will; then you will be
free and beyond Christianity. I have had to recognize that I must
submit to what I fear; yes, even more, that I must even love what
horrifies me. We must learn such from that saint who was disgusted by
the plague infections; she drank the pus of plague boils and became
aware that it
smelled
like roses. The acts of the saint were not in vain. In everything
regarding your salvation and the attainment of mercy, you are
dependent on your soul. Thus no sacrifice can be too great for you.
If your virtues hinder you from salvation, discard them, since they
have become evil to you. The slave to virtue finds the way as little
as the slave to vices. If you believe that you are the master of your
soul, then become her servant. If you were her servant, make yourself
her master, since she needs to be ruled. These should be your first
steps.” (p. 235)
Retranslation by Florian Birkmayer:
“How
hard is fate! If you approach your soul, you will at first miss
meaning (sense). You believe that you have sunk into the meaningless
(senseless), into the eternally disordered. You are right! Nothing
rescues you from the disordered and the meaningless (senseless),
since this is the other half of the world. Your God is a child, so
long as you are not childlike (childish). Is the child order, meaning
(sense)? Or disorder, caprice? Disorder and meaninglessness
(senselessness) are the mothers of order and meaning
(sense)—order and meaning (sense) have become and are no longer
becoming. (Order and meaning (sense) are what has become and is no
longer becoming.) You open the gate of the soul to let the
dark currents of chaos flow into your order and your meaning (sense).
Marry the ordered to the chaos and you create the divine child, the
transcendent meaning (the transcendent sense) beyond meaning (sense)
and meaninglessness (senselessness)—You are afraid to open the
gate? I too was afraid, since we had forgotten that the god is
terrible. Christ taught: God is love. But you should know that love
is also terrible (terrifying). I spoke to a loving soul and as I
stepped nearer to her, I was overcome by horror, and I piled up a
rampart of doubts, and did not suspect that I thus wanted to protect
myself from my terrifying soul. You are terrified of the
depth; it should horrify you, since the way of what is to come leads
over it. You must overcome the temptation of fear and doubt,
and at the same time accept down to the blood that your fear
is justified and your doubt is reasonable. How otherwise could it be
a true temptation and a
true
overcoming? The christian surely overcomes the temptation of
the devil, but not the temptation
of
God to the good and reasonable. Hence
the christian succumbs to temptation.
You still have to learn this, to succumb to no
temptation, but to do everything voluntarily, then you will be
free and beyond Christianity. I have had to recognize that I must
subject myself to that which I fear; yes, even more, that I must even
love what horrifies me. This we must learn from that saint who was
disgusted by the plague victims; she drank the pus of plague boils
and became aware that it
smelled
like roses. The acts of the saint were not in vain. In everything
regarding your salvation and the attainment of grace,
you are dependent on your soul. Thus no sacrifice can be too great
for you. If your virtues hinder you from salvation, discard them,
since they have become evil to you. The slave to virtue finds the way
as little as the slave to vices. If you believe that you are the
master of your soul, then become her servant. If you were her
servant, make yourself her master, since in that case she needs to be
ruled. These should be your first steps.”
Notes on Translation:
The orthography of the German quote precisely follows that of the Red Book manuscript and is admittedly idiosyncratic, with no capitalized nouns and archaic spelling of some words.
Simple errors in translation are underlined, e.g. Mütter is the plural of mother, i.e. mothers.
Sinn can mean both meaning or sense.
The most blatant and crucial mistranslation in this passage is the sentence "Christ thus succumbs to cursing." The original sentence reads "der christ unterliegt also der versuchung." In German, Christ refers to a christian, never Christ. Why was 'Versuchung' (temptation) as 'cursing'. My suspicion is that the German Gothic 's', which looks like a vertical slash, confused the translator who thought it was an 'f' and thus you get 'Verfuchung', which if you add an 'l', makes 'Verfluchung' which means curse. The sentence "Christ thus succumbs to cursing." also makes no sense contextually, since the passage refers to temptation.